Thursday, April 13, 2006

Open Letter to Beer

I don't mean to alarm you, Beer but you're just not doing it for me recently.

It is with a heavy heart I disclose this. Beer, I'd like to say it's you and not me, but it's really you. And a little bit of me. But mainly you.

Sure, we've both been busy at the office, but it is times like then that I think of you most. But what do I come home to, but more disgusting Elmwood Pale Ales in the fridge? And when we go out? You embarrass me with the liked of the Hitachino Nest Red Rice Ale. Sure you SAY RED and ALE, but you were really like a lambic the whole time. Sure you aren't a lambic in so many words, but everyone knows it. My friends even turned up their noses at you. My god YOU EMBARASSED ME BEER! We haven't had these sorts of problems. I mean when you've embarrassed me before, it's pretty much been equally my fault. Now, I think this is squarely you.

And then there was Canada. Known for beerdrinking! I thought it would be like a second honeymoon! Don't get me wrong--it started out great, but your true nature soon revealed itself ONCE again.

And now I am going to Missouri tomorrow. And we all know that doesn't bode well in general, but Beer, you have always been a shining beacon of hope in MO. I really hope you won't let me down.

Now I am not saying this is an untimatum. Beer, we're in it for the long haul. But I just can't consistently work up the enthusiasm I once had for you. I know this is a rough patch and we'll make it through. But Beer, can I get a little reciprocal lovin?

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